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If you can live with some auxiliary authority in your life knowing that your wife will, as necessary, bend to its will instead of yours, you'll cross those bridges as you come to them. Being what you can even for 2 hours a week will help. Like, she thought that serving would remedy her of any doubts or testimony issues. But what does it really mean to be a patriarch, to lead your tribe. I think in most situations its either you join or she leaves- either you, or the church. I believe strongly that I was meant to marry my spouse. He is in a way to become a Ex mormon. You should start raising CES letter issues with her and see how she handles it.
You guys are looking into this wayyyyyyy too much. If she is motivated enough to want to go on a mission, she will likely not settle for having a second class "eternal companion" you who is a convert or one who cannot be sealed to her for eternity. Sorry ladies, but that's just doesn't cut it for me.